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Casual sex isn’t all bad for you. For one thing, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation, close to 40 million Americans in 2015 had sex without a long-term romantic relationship. However, casual sex can be risky, and if you are feeling pressured to have it, there might be some factors in your life that could be causing you to have it for the wrong reasons. One thing you have to consider is that casual sex can be an outlet for sexual tension that is not channeled in a healthy way. Many people who have casual sex don’t use it as an opportunity for emotional closeness with another person — they use it as an opportunity for physical closeness. Emotional closeness can be a great thing, but it can also be very positive or negative — it’s up to you whether it’s negative or positive. Casual sex can also serve as a means of managing emotions in a way that requires you to not feel any emotion at all — basically, if you feel no shame and no guilt, you can do anything you want in terms of casual sex. How to stop the pressure to hook up We don’t really know how sexual pressure affects casual sex in general, and there are definitely factors that can affect hookup culture — such as the time you went to high school, for instance. But you have a lot of power over this situation in how you talk to yourself about it — specifically, how you talk to yourself about how you feel about your casual hookups. Here’s how to manage your expectations and have fun without stress. Embrace the chance of rejection and discomfort. Yes, the chances of your casual hookup ending up in disaster might seem like a certainty. But the reality is that even in your worst-case scenario — for example, if your casual hookup is a serial dater who winds up becoming an emotional or physical relationship wrecker — there’s still the chance that you don’t get hurt. This is why most people in the hookup community love to throw around the term “open-minded.” In open-minded communication, you don’t care about your casual hookup, you care about your lack of disappointment. Know what you want. What do you want from your casual hookups? Do you want them to lead to a relationship, or just be a quick thing? Are you willing to spend time with a casual hookup if he or she takes you on dates? And how do you feel about casual sex more generally? If you think of
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When it comes to casual sex and hookups, sex is inherently personal. And that’s partly because people’s beliefs and lifestyles about sex are uniquely their own. Because sex is subjective, different people will take different approaches to having sex and choosing relationships. However, some kinds of casual sex are known to carry some risks — for example, casual hookups at a bar or disco, in the car, or while you’re drunk. One thing you can get wrong — or, actually, get right — is to have casual sex with someone you’re in a serious relationship with. This happens all the time in real life, but people probably aren’t conscious of the fallout from this until it’s too late — like when they find out that their partner is having an affair, or is being unfaithful with another person. But don’t panic, casual sex in relationships isn’t impossible, though you may find that your normal boudoir antics have a bit more consequence to them. Many people in serious relationships can have casual sex with their partner without big blowback. Where you decide to go to find your casual fling really just depends on how much you’d like to know about the person in your bed. Any partner that you have can be a bit of a surprise to you — and can sometimes lead to confusion. But being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t be safe about having casual sex with the person you love. Still, there may be times where you’re more comfortable than others. It’s the end of summer, you’re sick of your place of residence, you have time and energy to burn, and you want to see what’s out there. Flirtation and sex are not the same thing. It’s easy to let that tryst turn into something more, whether with a friend or with a stranger. However, even if you aren’t having sex, but rather, letting casual sex act as a springboard for furthering something more, it doesn’t mean that you’re in a committed relationship. Needless to say, casual sex is a very individual thing. There is no one answer to “Is casual sex bad for you? — some say yes, some say no, some say it depends. On a few occasions, you will be left wondering how casual sex could be bad for you, but it can be for a number of reasons. Conversely, you may think it’s the perfect solution to your dating woes. This is not the same as escorting or prostitution, both of which